I just ate all the cheese in my entire house. “How much cheese was previously in your home?” You may ask. A reasonable question. The answer? More than should be eaten in one sitting.
My wedding is in two and a half weeks. At this point I am frustrated, upset, and ready for the whole ordeal to be over. There are costly invoices to pay, the hassle of trying to get a head count on individuals that haven’t RSVP’d, and the never ending coordinating of the controlling mother, estranged family, rentals, stray groomsmen, and on and on it goes.
This. Is. Not. Fun. And it makes me sad.
This is my second wedding. When my current fiance, Braden, and I got engaged, I told him I wanted to have a courthouse marriage and a reception with our friends later to celebrate. He was insistent on a wedding, which I don’t fault him for. This is our forever wedding, and it was important for him to have a ceremony surrounded by family and friends- which he has many of. But it’s not until you’re in the middle of wading through venue costs and overpriced folding chairs do you realize what a sham modern weddings can be.
Weddings today are an industry. Every item is overpriced, from the bridesmaids dresses to “MUST HAVE” decor (that you are going to use once and then set in your garage and continually try to get rid of). Braden and I have tried to keep a strict wedding budget, using the outdoor area of our church as the venue, DIYing our own decorations and music, and only having dessert and bottled water instead of opting for dinner or any expensive drinks. We are keeping it simple and sweet and want people to be comfortable and have a good time. Still, the total cost for our wedding and reception will equal what could have been a few months of mortgage payments or a dream honeymoon cruise.
When I look at my parent’s wedding pictures, they were taken in a small church with a Polaroid camera. My parents were happy, celebrating their union with a simple cake, surrounded with the people they cared about most. Isn’t this what we all want our wedding to be? A special day that we can remember with the people we love? It makes me sad that advertising, media and popular culture has turned a day that should be something of happiness, celebration and the marking of a union of two people into an expensive production and something stressful. It encourages couples to spend, spend and spend and to impress, impress, impress. There is an overarching need to post pictures on social media and let strangers ooh and aah at the lavish decorations and creative photograph poses and extravagant dinner, as if the wedding is a direct reflection of the couple’s wealth, personality, and relationship. Weddings focus on performance and show and less and less on the actual meaning and reason for the wedding.
My first wedding was the textbook David Tutera big white wedding, with the lace and billowing decorations and Cinderella dress and pearl decor. I wanted people to know that I was fancy and grown up and elegant. But a wedding doesn’t create a marriage or mean anything about your vows- and if you’re having a wedding to make a statement, then maybe you should rethink if you’re ready to make the promise you’re going to make at the altar. (No judgement, seriously. Speaking from experience.)
I digress. Anyway. I am hoping to finish up all the loose ends before our wedding, July 26th. My life feels completely out of control right now- and when it does generally I do my favorite disassociating thing, escape to writing fiction where my life is all in order and I am some awesome hero (completely in control of the universe). But of course I don’t have time for writing six hours of fiction late into the night, because I have invoices to organize, vows to write, decor to finish DiY’ing, so I guess I will have to buck up and face my problems like an adult by… eating a block of cheddar cheese?
Braden, the love of my life, keeps telling me that everything will work out- and if it doesn’t, we are there together, we are taking our vows, and that is all that matters. I keep on trying to hold to that, and not the trappings of what society and culture and the Portland bridal shows says is important on the wedding day…cutsie wedding favors, perfectly timed wedding songs and goddess style hair and makeup. So what if we run out of plates. If you didn’t RSVP..no plate for you. If my dress gets dirty, well…that’s what I get for wearing white.
We’re all there for the ‘I do’s’ anyway. And then, finally, I get to annoy one special person for the rest of my life.
#wedding #stress #life