Hard Transitions

This is my happy place. Sitting in my apartment with a huge cup of tea and my two sleepy cats, listening to the new podcast episode of Timesuck by Dan Cummins. It’s quiet and cozy, and right now I can pretend like there’s nothing outside in the world to bother me.

I’m about to go through several big transitions in my life all at once. In a few weeks I’ll be starting a coordinator position in an unfamiliar field. In July I’m getting married. We’re also moving, my fiance wants to buy a house more than anything.

All I can think is ‘I’m not ready.’ I can’t do this. Maybe somewhere along the lines I made a mistake and now I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.

What if I fail.

I signed up for all these challenges, but now I just want to crawl under the covers and go back to my easy, predictable life.

Life is about change. Transitioning. Moving forward. Making connections, investing in others, and experiencing growth.

I know that, of course. If we always stay in one place we’re not exercising our true potential and challenging ourselves.

But right now, I’m not sure I have enough faith for myself. So I’ll just have to take it one day, and one moment, and one prayer at a time.

“If we take a step despite feeling uncomfortable, afraid, or inadequate, our comfort zones expand. We grow in strength and skill. What we consider normal for us changes, sometimes radically.” Alex Harris

#mentalhealth #life #quotes #dailyliving

Collections

I obsessively collect two things. Books, like most people who like reading and writing, and boxes. They have to be boxes with hinges, like music boxes, jewelry boxes, chests that open and close. There is something about them. If they’re old, mysterious, decorated, I must have them all.

Collections are a funny thing. I always wonder what makes people collect so much of a certain thing. My mom collects carousel horses and bird feeders. My grandma collected those decorative plates that no one was allowed to eat off of.

I am sure there is some psychological reason that makes people collect things- like little crows collecting the shiny things and taking them back to our nests. I’ve never known what it is. For now I’ll credit it to the uniqueness of the human mind.

What do you collect? Do you know why people collect things?

#collection #thoughts #mentalhealth #dailyliving

Your Most Amazing Self

I have it written up on my whiteboard at work beside my desk and I see it every day, as a question and a reminder. It’s the phrase “Are you being your MOST AMAZING self today?”

I don’t feel like my most amazing self today.

I didn’t feel like my most amazing self yesterday either. Yesterday I stayed in bed all day. Literally, all day, eating Goldfish crackers out of the container while I stared at my computer screen, diving into my own made up works of fiction.

Today work is monotonous. I have a bit of a headache, and the future is big and wide and sneaking up, giving me the anxious shakes if I think too long and hard about it.

I don’t feel like my most amazing self often. But maybe today, I’m the most amazing that I can be. And tomorrow, I’ll be as amazing as I can be then.

Life can be rough sometimes. But as long as we continue to be the most amazing we can be at that very moment…well, I think that’s amazing in itself.

Let’s work today to be our most amazing self. And tomorrow, to be just a bit more amazing-er.

#mentalhealth #thoughts #anxiety #selfhelp

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A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step.

Lao Tzu

Hello new friends. This blog is going to be filled up with my random thoughts and musings. Words about closure, mental health, spiritual journeys, and this thing called life.

I’ll also talk about other topics, like monsters, lore, conspiracies and you know, whatever else swirles into my grey matter. I’m an introvert that thinks a lot but talks little. Stick around and let’s mull over the questions of the universe, love, life and our own minds together. #life #thoughts

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